As I sit here looking at a beautiful beach watching people go by, older people interacting with younger people, I started to wonder, does being single change the way I age?
If you are a person who is worried about aging and how you will cope with the changes, that stress alone could actually change the way you age and shorten your lifespan. On the other hand, if you have addressed your concerns, you have created a detailed plan for the “what if’s” of aging and you are living a happy retirement, researchers say these are the people who will live longer, healthier lives.
Aging Attitude
There is some truth to that old saying, “age is just a number and you’re only as young or old as you feel”. Some days I feel like 100 and other days I dance around like I’m still 32. Maybe changing our attitude about aging by starting our days thinking and saying out loud, I’m looking good at 32 today and ready for what’s coming my way. Then wait for the feelings to catch up.
Senior, Single Lady Aging in a Nursing Home
I once took care of a delightful 95 year old woman in a nursing home who got up everyday, dressed, got into her wheelchair and asked what’s the plan for today. She had a wonderful attitude about life.
So I asked her how she managed it. She told me that everyone close to her was gone. Her husband, all of her children, brothers and sisters and even all her friends. She said I don’t know why I’m still here, but here I am. So I just make the best of it and try to put a smile on someone’s face each day. Maybe that’s why she lived so long.
But the fact is that there are certain aspects to aging that we cannot ignore. Primarily the changes that will occur in our bodies.
Having spent most of my career in healthcare taking care of older people I realized that many women are not prepared for all of the changes that will come and have not written their preferences for their last chapters of life.
If you are retired or getting ready to retire and are a single woman, now is the time to get prepared and start making your list. This is not a subject to avoid.
Is Aging a Problem?
Bodily Changes
There are many problems associated with aging. As our bodies slow down and begin to lose the abilities it once had, our challenges start with basic functions. For instance, one example is a simple thing like taking a Tylenol might take twice as long to work. Why? Because our digestive system is much slower after a certain age, experts say 65, but I believe it is different for everyone and based on lifestyle, disease and genetics.
Healthcare Crisis
Another problem that is associated with our aging population is the strain on our healthcare system. According to the Kaiser Family Foundation, “there are 22 million women today, one in five adult women, who rely on Medicare for basic health insurance protection. In fact, women comprise 57% of the Medicare population”. This number is expected to grow in the coming years.
Long-Term Care
The longer we live, the more the need for care. By 2030, 1 out of 5 Americans will be retirement age. As the population ages, we will have an unprecedented number of senior citizens who will need care and an increasing cost of long-term healthcare. No wonder we are worried, but there are ways to get prepared for our own needs.
What are 3 Types of Aging?
- Biological Aging – “breakdown of aging occurs as you gradually accumulate damage to various cells and tissues in the body” (source)
- Psychological Aging – emotional changes, thought life, possible depression
- Social Aging – Isolation, loss of family & friends, belonging to community
How fast or slowly we age depends on so many factors but experts seem to use the term “maintain” when referring to the best cases for good health. Maintain good eating habits, maintain a regular exercise program, maintain good sleep habits and more. I know, it’s easier said than done.
As a single, senior woman you have reached a milestone in your life just by getting here. Bravo to you!
I’m sure you have learned a lot about health and wellness and heard the health professionals spout different opinions along the way. In all my experiences working as a nurse with elderly single women, what stands out is this. The lovely ladies who lived the longest and seemed to handle everything with grace and dignity were the ones who had the best attitude.
At What Age do You Start to Look Old?
Some people look old at 40, while others don’t look old until their 80’s. It depends on several factors; lifestyle, attention to health & wellness, getting regular exercise and protecting your skin. Then there are those people who are lucky enough to be born with great genes!
What are Some of the Signs of Aging?
Face and Eyes
The first signs of aging often occur in the face. We notice our skin sagging, wrinkled neck, eyelids become thin and wrinkle making it difficult to apply eye makeup. Some have a genetic predisposition to have droopy eyelids called hooded eyes.
Skin
Another noticeable sign of aging is when the skin becomes crappy. We lose the fatty layer underneath the skin and it becomes thin and crepe paper like wrinkled. Some ladies begin seeing spider veins on their legs.
Joints
Osteoarthritis is a common sign of aging. Swollen, painful joints of the hands and feet are the first noticed and some experience pain in their hips.
Osteoporosis is commonly known as brittle bone disease. This is something that is screened for every year or two to ward off a high potential for fractures. This is why it’s very important to do weight bearing exercises throughout life.
Flexibility
The less we move, the less we will be able to move. Stretching exercises help to maintain flexibility as we age.
Responding to Aging
This process of aging is not something we can change. Oh, we can try the latest anti-aging products and have cosmetic surgeries, but this will not stop it. I don’t pay much attention to it until I look in the mirror and say, “Wow, who is that old woman looking back at me?” How did I change so much?
It can be depressing but the people who cope the best with aging are those women who make taking care of themselves a priority. They eat healthy foods, get exercise and are involved in their communities. Most of all, they have a positive attitude and that actually makes them look younger. Maybe you’ve known some women like this?
Does Age Define Us?
In some cultures the older people are revered and held in high esteem. Here in the states a common thought is that older people are a burden and after a certain age not important any longer.
Everyone will get old, if we’re lucky. You are the only one who can define you. If you think of yourself as old and obsolete, then you are. If you still feel vital and believe you have more to contribute in life, then cheers to you for making a difference.
Hanging Out with Older People
I once met a young woman who was my daughter’s age. She liked to hang out with me and I couldn’t figure out why. She told me it was because I didn’t seem as old as my actual age. “You seem so much younger,” she said. I did enjoy hearing about her escapades and giving her some advice from my life experiences. It was fun for both of us and this friendship did make me feel younger.
This is a good example of why being friends with people of all ages is good for our health and may give us that boost we need to still feel vibrant. It is highly recommended for all solo senior women to hang out with someone younger.
Is Aging Different for Single Women?
Yes, aging can be different for women who are single. Anxiety and worry about who will help us when we need it and will I have enough money to pay for care, takes its toll on us. Some things that contribute to anxious aging we can take control over.
- Stress – There have been studies that show continued stress ages us much faster and can in fact cause health problems that may shorten our lives.
- Worry – If we are constantly worried about issues in life, it will be hard to stay focused on how to create a better retirement life. As you know worry has never changed anything, accept possibly our health.
- Isolation – Humans are social creatures so isolating ourselves from other people also carries some risk of shortening life expectancy. It is important to make the effort to get out and connect with others.
- Lack of community – not connecting with like-minded people near you. Community won’t come to you, you must go to it. Search in your area for groups you’d like to participate in.
- Negative, self-defeating thoughts – Letting our thoughts bring us down or prevent us from doing things we love.
- Dreaming of days gone by – Reliving the past will also stop us from moving forward to what life has to offer.
What is Important to Consider as I Age Alone?
Safety
- What will I do if I have a stroke alone?
- What if I fall and break a hip?
- How will I get help?
Care Needs
- Who will take care of me?
- How will I pay for care?
- Who will manage my finances?
- What will happen to me if I can no longer drive?
- Will I have to move?
- Where will I live if I can no longer live alone?
- Do I need a will?
- Who will I leave my money and my possessions to?
- Who will follow my wishes?
- Who will be my spokesperson when I’m not able?
- Who will follow my living will?
There are many decisions to make as you prepare for the aging process alone, so much more than just a living will. It is wise to learn from the experiences of others and plan for possibilities. A new comprehensive guide for single, senior women, PREPARING FOR OLD AGE ALONE , is being published. If you’re interested, subscribe here and we’ll notify you when it’s available.
